To me, From me.
Today is beginning to wind down, as all days tend to do. I have had a very interesting, fun day. I have spent quite a bit of time out in my shed, although it has not been the warmest it could be. Come to find out when it was time to come in, I checked and the heater was only turned on 30 percent all day. So, it never had a chance to catch up. I cranked it up to 86, so it should be warm enough to camp out in there when I next go out....which I want to do after we eat. We are having Salmon patties and I love them, but not the way they smell before they are cooked! Now that dh is frying them, they are starting to smell delish.
I did a lot of reading today. Then I did a couple of prep pages for my Art Journal. It was just never warm enough to get at it very deeply, however. Tomorrow should work well as it should hold some heat overnight. It has warmed up from zero ish to about 19 ish. So, hopefully it won't get as cold tonight. I really do want to have a camp out overnight sometime. Prolly the next time Penny stays over, if it is warmer. Or maybe not. Maybe I had better try it alone for the first time. Maybe I will invest in a new electric blanket for the shed as well. They are about $ 35.00 now. I don't know if I want to spend that much, so am still debating about that. It sure would have felt good today however! Will mention it in passing to dh. I doubt we will be going to town tomorrow as it is due to have a winter storm come in. Have not mentioned the Grandkids to dh yet. I miss them so much when they are NOT here! When they are here, the time flies by too quickly! I never get to do the things I think about doing with them when they are not here. Penny is 3. Soon she will be in school too! Gosh, I will be lonely then! Thank goodness we have a couple of years left! Hunter is so engrossed in his tablet now. I hope his folks get him his own for Christmas! Not sure what they have planned. I could let him have one of mine, but don't want to be responsible if he gets into trouble online. I will talk to Lacey to feel her out about the entire situation soon.
I cannot believe it is Almost Christmas already. Seems like it was just Christmas last year! lol. Let's see. Then when in the shed I began to fill out a book I bought gosh many, many years ago now. It is about yourself. What did you think when you were 10, What was your favorite book growing up, etc.
I am hoping it will help me in dealing with the loss of my Daddy. Gosh, there are so many regrets already. I regret not hugging him more. I regret not holding his hand when I had a chance. I regret not sitting there with him just talking longer. We had some good talks, but I barely remember any of it. We did agree on politics, however. I got to be a Democrat from him and Mom. We never discussed it, but I listened. I did not realize in this latest election how much attention Hunter had been paying to what I was saying. He was even scared of Donald Trump getting elected. I never realized how much he and other children have been paying attention. That is a good thing. If this election did anything, it did make people start paying attention. Some still voted for the wrong person, but that is a debate that will go on for a very long time. They are still trying to sway some of the electoral voters to abandon ship and vote for Hillary. But, they are not legally supposed to do that, so I doubt any will.
Time to eat now. BBl.
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Waking up
Sometimes I just need time to get awake in the morning. I don't want anyone to talk to me. I am grumpy. I need to "get awake" before I can take on the day. Does this make any sense? I hope so. I hope it does not mean that there is something wrong with me. I am not like this every day. Some days everything is right with the world when I awaken. Of course, sometimes that just means that the news is on and some terrible horrible thing has happened, again. It seems like the news is never good anymore. So many horrible ways to die. So many people get gone. Car accidents, murders, fires, tornadoes. I could go on and on. I did not mean to get morose. I will "snap" out of it now. lol
Another reason I don't like to hear the news is that a certain "new" President is doing some OTHER news worthy thing. I try and try to avoid his news, for sure. It is such a joke and the entire world is laughing at the U.S. right now. It is so scary as I knew it would be. He is picking rich white men. Period. They are investigating his connection to the Russians. They know now that they hacked into Democratic headquarters. What this means I am not sure. It means that he is still a crook. He also has been denying things that there is taped evidence that he has said or done. He has turned over his business connections to his children to avoid conflict of interest. Ummm, sure.
Next topic, don't want to get even more depressed. I am a little bit afraid to say anything about the new guy because it could be a bad no no. But then that man just likes to read stuff about himself, he does not care if it is good or bad as long as he is front page news. Ego, yuck.
Christmas is just around the corner. We don't have anything planned as of yet. Our trip to Emmetsburg had to be postponed until after the new year. Just too much going on and the weather is supposed to get really bad by tonight. anywhere from 2 to 6 inches of snow up by George. We just don't do bad weather anymore. No more adventure left in us, I guess. lol. George just got a new job, so he has a lot of stuff to think about. After 15 years at that company, he has had enough. I did not even think to ask him which company he will be working for now. It is the company that his old boss went to back then. It has to be pretty scary to be changing jobs at his age, but I know it is about time.
He has taken a lot of crap and done a lot of things they don't appreciate for way too long. When Dad was ill, he was afraid to take too much time off. It was like he was working for Hitler. He said his Secretary would get all over his hours, etc. I could not believe it! He is the supervisor, manager! His boss is a real jerk, too. Talk about not appreciating a worker. George is the one running on a dead run to make the customers happy. He literally bends over backwards to please everyone. Takes short noon hours, etc. Works late at night and weekends. The new job is in Estherville! How is that for a hoot? Dad is gone and now George will be going up there every day. Funny how life works sometimes. I think Dad's dying may have something to do with his finally getting out. Life is too short! Betty does not like her job very much either, so she may be looking for something up there too. Heck, maybe they will move and tell E'burg where they can put it. That would justice! Main street there is dying off anyway. So many businesses are closing. Second hand stores is pretty much all there is there now. I couldn't believe there are 4 just on the main street. 3 on the main corner and one a bit south next to the Pizza Ranch. I know one of the guys who owns one of them. I thought he was the one on the north east corner, but now I am wondering if he might be the one on the south east side. Just thinking about the type of things for sale. I never asked him about his having a wife, so it is probably possible that it was his wife I saw when I used to go to the one place. I don't think so, however. Don't ask me why, just a feeling. Either way it is not important. I have not talked to him much the last couple of times because I have not been in a chatty mood. Sometimes I am and sometimes I am not. We are getting burned out on even going to the Hillbilly Sale. We did not go to the December one because the weather was going to get bad. Turned out it was not all that bad, but we don't regret not going because it is always the same old things. There were a few new vendors last month, but we still did not buy much. I got something, but cannot even remember what it was. With all the clutter we have been moving out, I am glad we did not go. I don't need to buy any more stuff to get rid of down the line. I am in the process of reading old letters to decide which ones can be let go. The clutter managing guy says that if it does not bring back good memories, it should go. Well some of the letters from Mom still stir up bad feelings and I am not sure why I let them do so. The way she could word things STILL gets me worked up reading them now. I did not realize how desperately she wanted to see us. How lonesome she was. But, I had to do what was best for me and the girls. Seeing me get so worked up was not worth it. There was always, all ways something said that hurt or I took wrong and it hurt. Dad retired and he went back to work after a short time. He could not take staying home either. Larry still has to go someplace almost every day. It drives me crazy, but I go along because he wants to go. I had such a wonderful time yesterday out in my shed. I did not do much but try to stay warm, but it was so nice being in a quiet place and getting some reading done without interruption. Phew.
Next topic. Last night I was so tired from trying to stay warm all day that my body ached most of the evening. I don't know what I would do without that recliner. It lets every muscle rest as much as it needs to rest to feel better. The Netflix shows we watched were crap, but I played a game I like, so it was okay to just let the mind go numb. We don't converse much because it ends up him being right and me being wrong or we argue about something. I have decided he HAS to be right for some reason. So I let him be right. It goes easier that way. Yesterday I also did a lot of stuff on this computer. I changed the lock screens several time before I got them to where I wanted them. One way I had it was not working because one screen did the right thing, but the other one did nothing. I fiddled around until I got it fixed. I have been getting calls about a free computer checkup since I bought this new computer. I think it is a hoax, but cannot prove it. I am not letting anyone see my inside of this computer unless something goes wrong with it. I am lucky because the other day when they tried, I was having trouble with it and they could not access it. Or I should say, I would not take the time needed to let them in to look. It could be legit, but something told me it wasn't. So yesterday I told the guy who called no thanks. He seemed surprised but did not try twice. Another clue, me thinks. I also watched some videos on you tube about Art Journaling. I am getting more confident that my way is as good or better than some of the ones I have been watching. I am getting some ideas to try as well.
Just talked to Larry and going to the shed is out of the question because of the cold today. I was just getting to the place where I could be getting something accomplished. Now that will die down. I just cannot seem to be creative more than one or two days in a row at the most. I will just have to do stuff in the house, probably writing. I can do writing on the computer or in a book. That will do it for now, I may come back later to work on poetry. Taa
Another reason I don't like to hear the news is that a certain "new" President is doing some OTHER news worthy thing. I try and try to avoid his news, for sure. It is such a joke and the entire world is laughing at the U.S. right now. It is so scary as I knew it would be. He is picking rich white men. Period. They are investigating his connection to the Russians. They know now that they hacked into Democratic headquarters. What this means I am not sure. It means that he is still a crook. He also has been denying things that there is taped evidence that he has said or done. He has turned over his business connections to his children to avoid conflict of interest. Ummm, sure.
Next topic, don't want to get even more depressed. I am a little bit afraid to say anything about the new guy because it could be a bad no no. But then that man just likes to read stuff about himself, he does not care if it is good or bad as long as he is front page news. Ego, yuck.
Christmas is just around the corner. We don't have anything planned as of yet. Our trip to Emmetsburg had to be postponed until after the new year. Just too much going on and the weather is supposed to get really bad by tonight. anywhere from 2 to 6 inches of snow up by George. We just don't do bad weather anymore. No more adventure left in us, I guess. lol. George just got a new job, so he has a lot of stuff to think about. After 15 years at that company, he has had enough. I did not even think to ask him which company he will be working for now. It is the company that his old boss went to back then. It has to be pretty scary to be changing jobs at his age, but I know it is about time.
He has taken a lot of crap and done a lot of things they don't appreciate for way too long. When Dad was ill, he was afraid to take too much time off. It was like he was working for Hitler. He said his Secretary would get all over his hours, etc. I could not believe it! He is the supervisor, manager! His boss is a real jerk, too. Talk about not appreciating a worker. George is the one running on a dead run to make the customers happy. He literally bends over backwards to please everyone. Takes short noon hours, etc. Works late at night and weekends. The new job is in Estherville! How is that for a hoot? Dad is gone and now George will be going up there every day. Funny how life works sometimes. I think Dad's dying may have something to do with his finally getting out. Life is too short! Betty does not like her job very much either, so she may be looking for something up there too. Heck, maybe they will move and tell E'burg where they can put it. That would justice! Main street there is dying off anyway. So many businesses are closing. Second hand stores is pretty much all there is there now. I couldn't believe there are 4 just on the main street. 3 on the main corner and one a bit south next to the Pizza Ranch. I know one of the guys who owns one of them. I thought he was the one on the north east corner, but now I am wondering if he might be the one on the south east side. Just thinking about the type of things for sale. I never asked him about his having a wife, so it is probably possible that it was his wife I saw when I used to go to the one place. I don't think so, however. Don't ask me why, just a feeling. Either way it is not important. I have not talked to him much the last couple of times because I have not been in a chatty mood. Sometimes I am and sometimes I am not. We are getting burned out on even going to the Hillbilly Sale. We did not go to the December one because the weather was going to get bad. Turned out it was not all that bad, but we don't regret not going because it is always the same old things. There were a few new vendors last month, but we still did not buy much. I got something, but cannot even remember what it was. With all the clutter we have been moving out, I am glad we did not go. I don't need to buy any more stuff to get rid of down the line. I am in the process of reading old letters to decide which ones can be let go. The clutter managing guy says that if it does not bring back good memories, it should go. Well some of the letters from Mom still stir up bad feelings and I am not sure why I let them do so. The way she could word things STILL gets me worked up reading them now. I did not realize how desperately she wanted to see us. How lonesome she was. But, I had to do what was best for me and the girls. Seeing me get so worked up was not worth it. There was always, all ways something said that hurt or I took wrong and it hurt. Dad retired and he went back to work after a short time. He could not take staying home either. Larry still has to go someplace almost every day. It drives me crazy, but I go along because he wants to go. I had such a wonderful time yesterday out in my shed. I did not do much but try to stay warm, but it was so nice being in a quiet place and getting some reading done without interruption. Phew.
Next topic. Last night I was so tired from trying to stay warm all day that my body ached most of the evening. I don't know what I would do without that recliner. It lets every muscle rest as much as it needs to rest to feel better. The Netflix shows we watched were crap, but I played a game I like, so it was okay to just let the mind go numb. We don't converse much because it ends up him being right and me being wrong or we argue about something. I have decided he HAS to be right for some reason. So I let him be right. It goes easier that way. Yesterday I also did a lot of stuff on this computer. I changed the lock screens several time before I got them to where I wanted them. One way I had it was not working because one screen did the right thing, but the other one did nothing. I fiddled around until I got it fixed. I have been getting calls about a free computer checkup since I bought this new computer. I think it is a hoax, but cannot prove it. I am not letting anyone see my inside of this computer unless something goes wrong with it. I am lucky because the other day when they tried, I was having trouble with it and they could not access it. Or I should say, I would not take the time needed to let them in to look. It could be legit, but something told me it wasn't. So yesterday I told the guy who called no thanks. He seemed surprised but did not try twice. Another clue, me thinks. I also watched some videos on you tube about Art Journaling. I am getting more confident that my way is as good or better than some of the ones I have been watching. I am getting some ideas to try as well.
Just talked to Larry and going to the shed is out of the question because of the cold today. I was just getting to the place where I could be getting something accomplished. Now that will die down. I just cannot seem to be creative more than one or two days in a row at the most. I will just have to do stuff in the house, probably writing. I can do writing on the computer or in a book. That will do it for now, I may come back later to work on poetry. Taa
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Gee, it has been a long time!
Arting
Except for the recent updates, it has been a long time since I have posted about my Arting. I love that term. I have really drifted away from all of my projects recently. A dry spell in my Art Journey, I suppose. The real world has been getting in the way, but in a really good way. We bought a Shed! Larry has been helping me get it finished so that I can spend time out there. Now that we have it all done, The weather has decided to become Winter! Sheesh, cannot get a break here. Anyway, I have not been to the Shed much this week. Brrrrrr. I have tried to be out there when it first got cold, but it just doesn't work because I can't seem to create when cold. So, I have mostly been keeping busy with my Adult coloring books. I have a couple of Christmas ones and they are so much fun. Very tiny, but still fun. Wish my vision was a bit better. But, I will keep on going. I bought some cheater glasses at the dollar store, and they help a lot. It is too much fun to stop. I want to get back to just plain writing more. Putting words onto paper. I do write in my paper journal, but have not been inspired recently. At least a week has gone by with very few entries. In fact, only one that I can remember. I don't do the messy journaling much anymore, but want to get back to it. For now I will just get the words going so the energy can flow more.
I keep hearing noises in the kitchen. Hope we don't have any critters around. It might just be the Refrigerator as it does make a lot of weird noises. Time to go to bed maybe? lol. I need music, but Larry is asleep and I don't want to wake him up. Hope my typing will not do it.
My days have been pretty sad the past few days. I think it is finally hitting me about Dad. The tears are always close by. I have put a lot of my feelings down in poems when it hurts the most. Like when we watched some Christmas movies last night, their Dad almost died and ended up staying at their house for the holidays because it was not safe for him to travel. This reminded me of the reality of my Daddy really dying. All the regrets keep flooding back. Even though I know that it all worked out as it was supposed to do, I keep thinking. "What if" and then "I should have". I am sure all people who lose someone do the same thing. Even though I am letting myself "feel" the pain, it still hurts so bad. Of course this brings up Mom's death all over again too. Yes, I know how lucky I am to have had Dad so long. Yes, I know he was so lucky to have had good health for as long as he did. It just doesn't make it hurt any less. I love you so much, Daddy. I hope there is some way that you know this. There were so many things I thought about that I could have said to him, or at least talked to him about. I could have sat closer. I could have hugged him more. I should have sat there longer. Etc. On and On.
I am getting tired, as I always seem to do so quickly anymore. I walked 16 minutes yesterday, but did not walk at all today. I must do it tomorrow so I can get into better shape. I can't sit in any chair but my recliner for any length of time anymore because it cuts down on the circulation in my legs and that worries me. I think I have something wrong with my heart, more than before. They had me wear a heart monitor from Friday till Monday this week. I took it back Monday and have not heard anything from them since. I hope no news is good news. I have a feeling it did not catch anything. I don't want to do that again as I always react to the glue on the probes they put on me. This time it was worse than the last time. I could barely stand to leave it on the entire time, but I did it. The machines keep getting smaller and are easier to transport. Wearing one was not bad except for the burning itching feeling from my allergy to the glue used.
It is difficult to write something that I think will be good to read when I come back to each post someday. I have been amazed at some of the things I have gotten down along the way.
I wrote a poem about a Glunk, and I think it turned out so cute and funky sounding, and funny too.
Sometimes I think about trying to illustrate it. Or, I could ask my friend, Phil to do it...but his drawings are kinda freaky. It will probably be some old ugly huge thing if he draws it, lol. I will get on that soon.
Ok, that is going to do it for tonight as it is almost gone midnite. So for now, Goodnight Moon!
Kate
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